Jokes For Kids
Next Generation
Our generation does not knock on doors.We will call or text to let you know that we are outside
A Bird If I was a bird ,I know who I would sh*t on!
Born to Party I was born to party .....But forced to study
Parents Call me When I call my parents and they don't answer ,it's no big deal.But when they call me and I don't answer ,it is like World War III
Let me ignore Please don't interrupt me while I am ignoring you
Maps It took me one hour to reach here and two hours to refold the map
Mac is God! Mac to his mother:Do I look like God? Cute Parrot A parrot collides with a car and is injured,but remains unconscious for two days. After 2 days when he wakes up,he finds himself in a cage.He shouts :Oh I am in prison! Is the car-driver dead?'
6 Mangoes,8 people Teacher: How will you distribute 6 mangoes among 8 people? Obama Birth date Teacher:When was Obama born? States of Matter Teacher: Amazon river flows in which state? Height of Literacy In a literate country , a beggar was crying. If Women rule the world Imagine if women ruled the world ,there would not be a war,just a bunch of countries not talking to each other
Toe A big toe is a device for finding things in the dark
Long story short I would love to hear your long story.If you can make it short. And interesting
Impossible not Difficult Why to be difficult when with a little extra effort you can be impossible!
Animals of water Teacher :Tell the names of five animals who live in water? Hearing Aid Nothing improves hearing like praise
Date of Birth Teacher : What is your date of birth? 100 letters word Teacher : Can you spell a word which has more than 100 letters in it Be Silent A moron was going in an airplane to Boston,while it was about to land, he started shouting 'Boston, Boston'. Orange and Apple Teacher : What is difference between Orange and Apple Castles in Air Imaginary castles are always made on hot air
Smile A smile is a curved line that sets things straight
Butterflies vs. Caterpillars I like butterflies ,I just feel sorry for caterpillars with a fear of flying and no interest in fashion
Free Cheese The cheese in a mousetrap is always free
Brain My brain is 85% sad thoughts and 15% passwords.
Souler Energy Churches run on souler energy.
Friends & People I don't hate people!At least 30% of my best friends are people
Poor Sharks I sympathize with sharks because if my houses gets flooded and some idiot turned up on a surfboard,I would be furious too,
Intelligent Answer Teacher : What is an island ? Desert Animals Teacher: Name one animal that is found in the desert. Spell It Teacher: Mac ,how do you spell 'crocodile? Right Grammar Teacher:Mac ,give me a sentence starting with 'I' Wise Kid Teacher: George Washington not only chopped his father's cherry tree,but he admitted it.Now,Mac,do you know why his father did not punish him? Playing Instrument The hardest instrument to play is 2nd fiddle
Hard-Earned Money Cardiologists make heart-earned money
It Runs What always runs but never walks? Married Couple How can a stranger tell whether two people are married? Dog in Fire What do you call a dog when it jumps into fire?<>Br/>
A hot dog
Fat One man walks up to another and says, 'Dude, you're fat'. Answer it What is yours but your friends use it more than you do? Incorrectly What word everyone pronounces incorrectly? Poor Bicycle Why can't a bicycle stand by itself Cows & Bells Why do cows wear the bells? Running around Bed Why was the man running around the bed? Head in Pot Why Tigger's head was in potty? Spider & Web Why did the spider cross the road? Glass Wall Why did a moron climbed over a wall made of glass? Part of History A child told her mother: 'My teacher thinks that I'm going to be famous. He said all I have to do is mess up one more time and I am history!'
Mother:No,but why you are asking?
Mac:Oh! whenever I go to neighbor's house ,they say Oh God,here he comes again!
Mac: By making mango shake
Mac: On his birthday
Mac: In liquid state
A woman asked him :What is the matter
The beggar replied :Matter is anything which has mass and occupies space
MAC: Frog
Teacher :And other four?
Mac: Frog's mother,frog's father,frog's brother and frog's sister!
Mac: October 13th
Teacher : Which year?
Mac: Ma'm, it is every year!
Mac: P-O-S-T-B-O-X
Air Hostess said :'Be Silent'
Moron:Ok, Oston, Oston.
Mac: Ma'm, Orange color is orange but Apple color is not apple
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
Teacher :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
Mac: A camel.
Teacher: Good. Name another animal.
Mac: Another camel.
Mac :K-R-O-K-O-D-I-L-E
Teacher :No,that is wrong .
Mac:Maybe it is wrong,but asked me how I spell it.
Mac: I is..
.
Teacher : No, Mac.....always say ,'I am'
Mac: All right, ....'I am the ninth letter of alphabet'
Mac: Because George still had the axe in his hand !
Water
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
The other man answers, 'Oh, but you're ugly. I can lose weight, but you will always be ugly.'
Your Name
Incorrectly
Because it is two- tired (tyred)
Because their horns don't work!
Because he wanted to catch up some sleep
Because he was looking for Pooh!
He wanted to go to his web-site
He wanted to see what was on other side